“When you listen, you are still. When you listen, you separate from your ego. When you listen, you learn a thing or two.” ― Hania Khuri-Trapper
Do You Listen To Yourself? Do You Know Yourself?
Out of the many relationships, you will form over the course of your entire lifetime, the most important one you will ever have is the one you form with yourself.
Like any other relationship, the one you form with yourself requires good communication and listening skills.
While it may seem strange to consider, many people do not listen to themselves or know themselves well at all.
This creates a lot of dissonance and disconnect between a person and themselves.
They may feel confused, emotionally frustrated, or lost because they do not have clear communication within themselves or an understanding of who they are.
What does it mean to listen to yourself?
Listening to yourself can take on a number of names – some people refer to listening to themselves as their inner voice, gut feelings, instincts, or intuition.
Whenever you listen to yourself, you are allowing your inner voice to deliver important decisions and information to you from deep within yourself.
Some people have a hard time listening to themselves.
Perhaps they doubt themselves and second guess their gut feelings.
Sometimes, life can be so busy that it creates an unstable environment where hearing what their minds are trying to tell them is difficult.
In other situations, people have a hard time trusting themselves because of past mistakes or failures they have made.
No matter what the reason is, not being able to listen to yourself is a detriment to your wellbeing.
How are listening to yourself and knowing yourself related?
People who are able to listen to themselves know themselves well.
They have a core understanding of who they are, what they like, and their comfort zones.
These people know their personal boundaries and their limitations.
When they hear their inner voice speak up, they know how to listen and heed its advice carefully.
Understanding yourself is a key component of listening to yourself.
There is a big gap between hearing your inner voice and actually listening to what it is saying.
People who know themselves understand the value of their inner voices.
So when they hear them speaking, they take special care to make sure they are listening intently.
If you struggle to listen to yourself, what are some strategies you can use to get better at it?
Whatever your reason, you may find yourself really struggling to listen to what your inner self is trying to say.
Not listening to yourself can make you feel like you do not really know yourself that well at all.
This can lead to some serious dysmorphia about who you are, what you like, and what you need.
Fortunately, you can learn how to listen to yourself and get to know yourself a bit better in the process.
- Forgive yourself for any previous mistakes you have made.
If you struggle to let go of your mistakes, it is time to release that burden off your shoulders.
It is easy to find yourself constantly ruminating over your past mistakes.
When you have made them before, you may find yourself fearing that you will make them again.
However, constantly reminding yourself of past mistakes forces you to believe that you will make those mistakes again.
And this is not true.
You can use the knowledge you learned from making those old mistakes to avoid repeating them again.
With this knowledge, you can acknowledge what happened and let those old fears go so.
Begin listening to and trusting yourself again.
- Find some strategies for silencing mental chatter.
Self-reflection is a great way to open your ears to your inner voice and get to know yourself better.
Life can be busy, bustling, and noisy – find some quiet, calm ways to reflect.
This is a great way to make yourself more open and receptive to your inner voice’s wisdom.
Some strategies you can use to incorporate more self-reflection into your day include
- Meditation and deep breathing exercises
- Journaling
- Going on a quiet walk
- Take a break (or two) during the day where you sequester yourself. Go to a private, quiet space for thinking and contemplation
- Practice being more accepting of yourself.
If you struggle to accept yourself, you likely have issues with knowing and listening to yourself.
When you pick apart aspects of who you are and criticize them, it is tough to build a meaningful relationship with yourself built on trust and communication.
Practice embracing and accepting yourself for exactly who you are.
As you identify your strengths, weaknesses, and areas that need improvement, give yourself full permission to accept all those building blocks that make you into the person you are.
Embracing this kind of acceptance makes it easier to understand yourself and hear your inner voice speaking.
Nobody wants to listen to what a mean bully has to say.
Being consistently harsh, negative, or critical of yourself, it is likely that you will not want to listen to anything your mind is trying to tell you.
Notice when these types of thoughts are constantly clouding your headspace, and practice replacing them with kinder, more truthful thoughts.
Often, mean or critical thoughts about yourself are borne from anxiety or worry.
Replace your thinking, “I can’t talk to her – she’s going to hate me,” replace this negative, distorted thought with, “I should try talking to her – she seems cool and I’ve never met her before.”
- Practice by trusting your intuition in some low-stakes ways to get more comfortable with listening to yourself.
Practice strengthening your ability to listen to yourself in some small ways.
The next time you need to make a small, inconsequential decision, take a moment to really listen to what your inner voice is trying to tell you.
Do you feel yourself pulling more toward one option than another?
If so, give yourself permission to make that choice and let your intuition guide you.
Taking these “baby steps” helps strengthen your ability to listen to yourself, trust yourself, and get to know yourself better in the process.
It Starts With YOU!